Sunday, 25 November 2007

Hello lovely one!

how are you doing?

I'm ok - my fingers on my left hand and my right wrist are hurting but I'm not really all that sure why tbh.

Anyhoo I am much more happier today - I slept all morning (yes I know I missed church but sometimes I need the me/sleep time! lol). We had lunch at Jenny and Andy's which was cool. I got the guided tour as I am babysitting Suzy who is actually 9 so it's not really babysitting next week end as Jenny is at a course and Andy is working. Kinda scared about it but it will be all good I have nowt to stress about I am sure.

I had Million Leaders Mandate this evening which is a leadership course - It's great fun - today we had to talk about things that are giants in our lives - so things that get to us or cause us trouble. we then sat in small groups as talked about what each of us is good at. Caroline said that I am good with kids especially little ones like Abi and Joel - which I thought was really cool. Jenny then said how she didn't exactly know me that well as a person but she knew I could handle the responsibility of looking after Suzy as I do such a good job with Joel and Abi which is cool.

I'm just thinking what me and Suzy can do next weekend - any ideas lol. Suzy loves crafty stuff so it would be cool if we make Christmas cards or something. I thought about seeing what was on the Kids Club at the cinema then maybe me and her could go - if it was a film she might like. What do you think?

Thats Love for you

Chris fell asleep while I was finishing up :(

Saturday, 24 November 2007

It does....but I need to self pity for a moment


I almost need you here to tell me that I don't suck and put the smile back on my face. I want the uni days back, when I had no job I couldn't handle it because the four walls were driving me nuts and now I have a job and it's draining every spare moment of time out of my life - ok not quite every spare moment as I leave at 5 and I'm home by 6 so I still have my evenings but this last week I have got home and Chris has then been in meetings or been essay writing. Thursday I went to Mum's after work - she's been feeling really tired and on Thursday had gone down with a cough thing (she's only got to breathe slightly too heavy and it makes her cough up her lungs at this rate there will be no lungs left in the woman!) Anyhoo so I go on Thursday to see her end up staying for tea so that she didn't have to cook etc (the only cooking that it took was phoning the Chinese for a takeaway).

Chris then had Rock Solid on Friday so I spent that on my own in No90 as it was my evening off (I do every other week). Chris then packed the car and dashed off to the Youth Sleepover thing at St Johns (Can't really complain I had the bed to myself!!!! WAHHOOOOO more room lol but actually it was really cold - the heating in our room sucks and the fan heater blows! It's so noisy you have turn it off to sleep and so the temperature drops shortly after - No good for insominacs they'd have icebergs hanging from their noses!).

This morning there was banging and crashing around in the house and I woke up (Chris has gone to get me a tissue because my nose is running and I have been crying and there's a really cold draught running across my fingers!) thought aah thats ok probably just someone here to use the photocopier etc something like that. Then there was footsteps heading for the door - so I'm like who on earth is that - start panicing as I am the only person in the house other than this person outside the door (like how am i going to defend myself?!?! Throw Chris's cheesey socks at them and hope it gases them????). The door swings open - It was Chris!!!!!! Says about how he brought the car back and I could have it but I needed to take him back to St Johns and it needed to be before 10am (Baring in mind I have just woken up at 9:25am, got the fright of my life thinking I may be attacked by and intruder and Chris wants me to be dressed and ready to drive him in less than half an hour!!!!!!)

So I get up and get dressed - I look in the mirror and I look as white as a sheet. (If I make no sense it is because Chris is chatting at me and I am trying to be a woman and multi-task!)

I rush round and get my bits sorted for the day and I was expecting to kind of daudle around and get myself sorted before lunch not before 10am! So I get sorted and take Chris to St Johns. I head for the car park that is over Iceland and near the bus station. I decide not to park there and head for Lurke Street car park (near Lidl) as it's about 20p cheaper - and I would like to save all I can until pay day.

So I park there and do some quick bits in town - after that I head for Mum and Dad's I had an angel costume to make (and it wasn't for me!). It was easier said than done - with all the dashing around I hadn't got to measure Chris and so had to draw round Richard (he'd been at work and stunk to heaven!) so I draw Rich who as a joke pretends to kick me - except actually really does kick me (He was laying on the floor and I was lent over his legs drawing round him to get the rough size for the angel - theoretically Rich is bulkier than Chris and so if it fitted Rich it should fit Chris - easily!)

So I hung out at Mum and Dads - that was the good bit of my evening - me and Mum had had a Bones fest and watched most of season 2 (i think!) with bits of Casualty, Strictly Come Dancing and Robin Hood in the middle. At the end of the Dancing they are getting more and more sillier about how their introduce what is next - last week Len (the judge) got hit with a prank arrow (you know the ones with the bend in to put round your head). This week they played the flying arrow noise six times and "killed" off the male dancers! lol There was a close shot on Bruce and Tess while they played the noises then the camera shot went to a wider one and the guys were all laying on the floor. Me and mum had to rewind it on the Sky plus because we missed what had happened the first time round!!!!

So then it got to 10 to 10 (Chris keeps looking over to see what I am typing about and now had rolled over in a slight strop). Chris had asked me to pick him up between 9 and 10 but hadn't told me exactly so I sent him two text messages to find out what time he wanted me to get him - this is where the 'Enders stylee drums come in because although I would like to finish posting Chris is about to doze off so I will write more possibly/hopefully tomorrow - Do you still want to come Christmas shopping? If yes let me know and I will tidy the living room so you have somewhere to sleep!!!!!!!! I can't do next weekend but I am free the following if you want to go then - any closer to Christmas and it's just gonna be mad. Smithey over and out!

Tuesday, 20 November 2007

doesnt self pity suck???


Heya as much as i love looking on here it makes me miss you so so much more... I read your blogs twice coz i just want to take everything in. I felt so sad that you were all alone. It's making me feel pants here at the moment. I'm beginning to feel really lonely in everything i do. I go to work (where people are all talking about quiet nights in etc) i then come home and feel completely burnt out so i usually flop, have some tea and head off to bed at about 8.30 *yep in bed now* It's unlike me to be so tired so early! I tell everyone at work about band n they're all in awe of it but i dont really get to make proper friends with people as in the kind of friend that i could call or just hang out with locally because they are all scattered over and the majority have families! I go to pub work and with no disrespect to the peeps i work with, non are the kind to go out with... basically, how am i meant to meet and make friends with new people when the reality is is that i'm on my tod!

I love si and bec to bits but they are always together and it's actually getting to me! i am more on my own now than i ever have been and it's so upsetting. I've tried to talk to my dad about it (i get too emotional talkin to mum) and he just thinks that i need to get out with people my own age *hello dad, HOW?????????* i end up just coming home and sitting in my room or something. I'll tell you something though, i will make a fab housewife, i'm getting v good at ironing and washing... still work to be done on the cooking front though!

I hope things are better for you now chris is home. I can tell you missed him.

I'm playing my first charity concert on saturday. It's 2 - 4 and i'm working saturday night so i cant even go out to celebrate and thank the peeps that are helping me out. Hey Ho!

I will give a more upbeat blog when i am back to being semi cheerful *which is as cheerful as i can feel in mansfield* self.

Love you lots like pear drops! xx

Sunday, 18 November 2007

I feel lonely :(

So this weekend was going to be cool, I texted Karen on Friday to see what she was upto and see if I could go hang out with her on Saturday as Nick, and half the male population are at a Men's Conference in Bradford, and Chris is away at a youth conference in Eastbourne.

Turn's out (which I did already know but had put it to the back of mind and forgotten about), that Caroline Joel Abi and Karen (possibly Kristin, Alice and Millie) have gone to Bournemouth for the weekend. I wasn't invited - before it didn't really bother me, then yesterday when I pointed out to Chris about texting Karen and not getting a reply he reminded me and I couldn't help it I just started crying. I had ran Rock Solid on Friday - which was ok, we only had two girlies but it was good we still had fun. Then having watched Children in Need till about 10 minutes to the end (I needed the loo and I was soooo tired). I slept all the way through till midday - I had set my alarm to get up at 10 but I turned it off and went back to sleep. I got up and finished some crafty bits - didn't have any lunch as it didn't cross my mind to eat until about 3:30 by which point there was no point in eating.

At about 4 ish I went to hang out with Dad because I couldn't handle the four walls any more, I even discussed with my brother about the Star Wars game he was playing. Dad was doing some stuff on the computer so I went and worked my way through the shows Mum had recorded for me on Sky Plus (She's so lovely lol) then me and Dad watched Holby from Tuesday. Mum got in from her craft workshop and we watched Children in Need at hi-speed - you fast forward the boring bits at about 30 times the normal play speed and it cuts the 7 hours into about 3! and you miss the News half hour as well lol. Well actually we only watched upto the news then the second half we started it about 15 mintues from the end - Me and Mum then sang along to "Seasons of Love" from Rent. I found the video on youtube to show you in case you were like HUH I don't know that one. (ok so it's at the bottom because for some reason it keeps moving it!)

Anyway after that we watched Strictly Come Dancing and Casualty and ate tea - We had fish fingers chips and beans - it was soooooo nice even thought the fish fingers were slightly burned. I came home and put on The Holiday DVD - see is it random my favourite actor is Jack Black? lol I think he's really funny even in serious roles there is that little random moment. While I was putting the DVD on some dropped down the back of the TV unit so I reached under the unit to get them out and caught my hand on a pin that was stuck in the carpet - I grazed down the side of my hand - it did bleed a little but not too much which was good. I phoned Chris to find out where the first aid kit was as I swear it has legs - I put a plaster on my hand so that it didn't get dirty or so that I didn't get glue in it as I was doing crafty bits.

I went to bed and got up this morning at 9:20ish got dressed and went to set up the sound desk - the last time I set up a sound desk was when I did Music Tech at upper school I think!

I stayed for church but as much as I wanted to be with people so I wasn't lonely I wanted to be on my own - how random is that.

Chris is going to be home this afternoon which I am really glad about because ok it's only two days but I haven't really seen him for the last 5 as I started my new job on Wednesday.

I also want to show you this:

The lady who made it her blog is called Fat Orange Cat, which is also the name of her fantastic Etsy shop.

I miss you too!

Hey u!!!!

I miss you huge amounts too!!!!!

Me and Kewey2 went into Nottingham shopping today. She is still on a crutches but can use her foot now. Anyways, we went into Notts and it was so nice just the 2 of us. We did more window shopping than anything else. I spent 40 on new music books (naughty naughty me... explained why towards the bottom)! The train conductor guy told everyone to get off the train at sutton parkway because there was a problem at mansfield train station which really annoyed people (i wasnt really annoyed, just a bit concerned because i had to work tonight). They said there would be a bus but we were out in the freezing cold for 30 mins and still nothing so kewey2 called daddy kewey and he picked us up. I then came home and listened to some music, got ready for work and tootled off. BY THE WAY - CRAZY IDEA SHOPPING IN NOTTINGHAM THIS CLOSE TO CHRISTMAS, TOO BUSY!!!

I'm always so so so tired at the moment! I've finised the TA band now so i've freed up my tuesday nights. I'm working in school monday to friday (often til gone 6 coz of meetings etc) and then the pub is on thursday night, the odd fri night, sat night and sunday dinner. I have police band rehearsal on monday nights. When i'm not workin a fri night i like to go out to just chill and break away from the week (like last night well fri night as it's now 1.15am on sunday) i went to see blues brothers tribute and it was amazing! got to talk to them and everything, they said they will do some charity stuff for a charity i'm involved in which is big coolies!

I'm not sleeping brilliantly at the moment, i dont know whether it's to do with not being able to relax/chill not sure but it's doin my head in.

To top things off, i have not been feeling too well, my stomach has swollen again and it's making me feel quite ill at times, i'm either really really starving or i have no appetite at all... no in between! However, i cant stop my jobs. I love working in the school because it's completely up my street and i keep being told how natural i am and i need the pub job too because i would like to save school money and use the pub money to run my new car (when i get it)!

All swings, rountabouts and seesaws at the moment but hey ho. Keep plodding on.

It's freezing here, really really bitterly cold, well it is outside. It's lovely and warm here with the heating on. Whats it like in good ol' bedford town?

I must head off now and try to sleep as i've got work later (grrrrr)

Big love as always. Kewey out.x

Monday, 12 November 2007

I miss you

Did I tell you I missed you?

I don't think I did - well I do Lots and lots not just like Jelly Tots but like I miss a bit of me - like someone chopped off my arm and told me to play Fur Elise - you see if you play both parts with one hand it doesn't work so well. So you only play the top half or the bottom half and then it doesn't work because there are bit where you should be playing. I miss you. I picked this picture because I think it's cute lol.


That's cool I am Beautiful - makes me feel much better - have a horrible tummy ache and my hair needs a wash lol.

No worries about putting your input in you've been busy getting a job!

So yeah we both got jobs on exactly the same day! So mine is as Sales Support at Star Events Group Not exactly sure at the moment what it entails but I am sure I will enjoy it - when I had my interview I was doing like a trial run and the lady next to me was organising stage crew for the next few McFly gigs. It was so funny just hearing all these bands names being dropped in conversation every few minutes.

I miss Kewey very much too!!! - Such good english lol. Kewey's Mum and Dad are soooo cool! Probably sounds really geeky but they are! When I've been to Hannah's they always make me totally welcome like it's my own home - last time I went they were going on holiday the next day but they were still totally welcoming like they had all the time in the world - it's soooo cool!

Can't quite say the same about being home lol. Me and Chris have 3 rooms to call home - and it is home I'm not dissing it or anything but I feel the cold easily and Chris doesn't so a warm room to me is sweltering to him and so most nights I go to bed in my pjams, legwarmers and some nights a jumper just to stay warm lol. I guess I am getting used to it - I went to Mum's last week and boiled - I'd got extra layers on to keep me warm then got to Mum's and was baking because it was so warm!

Yes My dear you are blogging - Welcome to the Revolution!!!! Lol!!!! Now I just need to get you on Swap-Bot or selling your cards on Etsy and We'll be well away lol

Saturday, 10 November 2007

I'VE ARRIVED!!!!!!!!!!

Hiya everyone (especially my beautiful friend Hannah)

Sorry that it has taken me so long to give any input to this site but here i am now.

How wierd is this..... me and smithey got jobs on exactly the same day! how cool is that? Ok, we may be miles apart now but still v v much together! I miss bedford and all things uni. I miss the responsibility that havin my own place entailed. I miss going for drinks n lunches with my bestest buds.

On the flip side, i am home with my family now. I have mummy and daddy cooked dinners. i earn money and i dont have to pay rent or the such. I have a huge luxury in WARMTH!

So, since i've been back in mansfield, i have joined 2 bands, quit one, started workin in pub, got supply work in school, got full time post in school and basically lost a lot of time that i used to spend socialising. (not that i mind).

Anyway. I'm heading off now. sitting with the family to watch the rest of the rememberance night on the beeb.

Love to all.x (han am i blogging right?)

kewey out.x